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There are many different reasons why men leave relationships or refuse to settle with the woman I'm with you. It 'important for women to take a good look at these reasons. To their surprise and pleasure, they will discover that most of the reasons why men leave have nothing to do with them.
Some people cling to the ghost of relationships past, idealizing an old love and decide that we will never find someone like again. It feels safer to keep the past bankruptcy risk with someone who is already available.
These men prefer to live in a memory than to face the reality of life today.
For some, this memory goes back to their mothers. No woman can live up to mom, or any other woman he idealizes. They begin to imagine that other women were perfect and gave them unconditional love. Whatever their current girlfriend was confronted with that. No woman can win over an idealized memory. These men live in dreams.
Other men looking to leave the excitement and challenge. Being with someone who loves them is boring and flat. After years of meeting beautiful women who adored him but for which he felt little, Frederick, a handsome, articulate architect, in his late thirties, finally fell in love. It was a tumultuous situation, however.
"I was in love with Fern for three years," he said. "But I left three times and each time she came back, wanting me. No woman had done before. Fern was very neurotic. I guess that's what attracted me. "
Some of the men find the lack of stability in a woman to be challenging, exciting and erotic. The unpredictability creates a situation where there is a constant sense of danger and threat of loss. This keeps these men constantly on alert, so things never become routine. Excitement is confused with love. There is a meaning that, because of the turmoil, I finally live. After a bit 'usually becomes too much. "I finally left Fern and never came back," Frederick said. "It 's got too tiring in the long term."
When men are attracted to neurotic women, it is interesting to note that these men are often attract a partner who expresses what he is going inside. May be acting out
what it is and not feeling able to express. When finally gets angry with the woman, he is really angry with himself. What we can not accept in another is something that we could not accept in ourselves.
Other stresses also cause men to leave relationships. When a man is unhappy at work, or when you feel under pressure to commit, before it is ready, old dreams that have not been fulfilled will come up to haunt him. He then begins to feel that this is the time to live those dreams. These men often feel justified to leave suddenly unsatisfactory relationships in search of their fantasies and dreams.
When Renee, handsome, strong, successful owner of a famous beauty parlor on the left for a new woman said, "No one leaves if they are happy. After a while 'just start to feel time is running out and you get tired of the bad things. Do you feel you do not need more. You paid your fees. You're tired. "
When asked why he felt the attraction of a different woman, he said: "Part of it is only the simple beauty. But she was much younger. I like it. A young woman looks at a guy because he is older and can do all these things for her, and he adores her because she is young, beautiful and it does look good and feel good and proud. "
Implicit in this is a deep need men have to look up to, appreciated, respected and recognized, not only by his peers, but with the woman. Especially at a time in life when a man's sense of
itself is shaky, is extremely uplifting to have a woman who looks up to him and what he has achieved. Unfortunately, at this point, some wives of long standing can only see their deficits man. If we constantly remind him of his failures, it is often more than his ego can bear.
Although there are many factors that contribute more men to leave the relationship, a common theme appears through all of them. Men are not necessarily respond to the woman they
are leaving, but their inner needs, conflicts and dreams. Often they experience the woman in their lives simply as part of their sense of self. It is not the woman herself who necessarily causes the man to leave, but the man's feelings about himself, his own imagination and inner search.
Cc/2006/author
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Hear men tell you in their own words why they leave relationships and what makes A Relationship work for them. This eye-opening book on modern relationships – Why Men Leave http://www.whymenleave.com offers a real understanding of men. It will change the way women think about men and about what goes on in relationships. It is written by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, relationship expert, workshop leader and author of many books, including The Anger Diet and Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster),Contact her at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. Her personal website is: http://www.brendashoshanna.com/ Go to: [http://www.whymenleave] to get your copy right now.
Angry White Women part 4
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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“He doesn’t mean to hurt me-he just loses control.” “He can be sweet and gentle.” “He’s scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he’s a great father.” “He’s had a really hard life…” Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselo…
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Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men’s Anger and How to Move Beyond It
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Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them: Breaking the Cycle of Physical and Emotional Abuse
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From the earliest years of his marriage, Paul Hegstrom handled his problems and frustrations the only way he knew how: with fists and fury. Talking about the problem only intensified his rage. Going into the Christian ministry didn’t help either, the guilt merely magnified his despair. Facing a charge of attempted murder and a prison term, Hegstrom got the wake-up call he needed. With profession…
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